Wednesday, May 7, 2014

All's Well That Ends Well...I Think?

             I'm pretty sure I've typed up at least half a dozen of these to throw up here when I actually got the chance to type it all out again...and then just never did.

             Figured tonight would be a better night than any...

             In less than 24 hours, I take a test that will determine my future. Now, let me just give you a rather quick rundown of my relationship with tests go...

              It's a hate/hate relationship. Okay...it's a I'm-gonna-fuck-you-over/I'm-gonna-wish-I-could-rip-your-stupid-scantron-face-into-a-million-tiny-confetti-pieces-and-then-burn-you-to-the-fucking-ground-you-stupid-green-boxed-life-ruiner.

               Okay, now that that has been cleared up, I have this test tomorrow. My nursing final. It all comes down to this. The last test, of the last semester, of the last chance I'm giving nursing school. Ahh, yes...I failed it once already. Blame it on a boy, blame it on being too young, blame it on whatever you want...it all comes down to the fact that I messed up and I had to figure out what the hell to do afterwards ((and after breaking part of my hand for punching a wall and buying two bottles of whiskey)). I failed. Not sure there's a whole lot of things I've failed at...and this wasn't something I was too proud of. So, I did what any rational person would do.

                        I fought my way back in, and gave it everything I had.

                 So, here I am...6 years later...from start to almost finish...it all comes down to whether or not I can pass this test. ((Aside from that OTHER big test I have to take in order to actually BE a nurse...)). I'm not entirely certain how I'm supposed to feel about finally finishing this very long, very difficult, very frustrating, very EVERYTHING journey I've gone on...with everyone else that has stuck with me along the way...

              Or, maybe it's the fact that, in the near distant future, somebody out there is going to hand me a certificate to actually save people's lives...

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